


Drop Dead

by anonymous_sinner



Series: Drop Dead [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Ben Hargreeves-centric, Depression, Fuck Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, I'm Going to Hell, M/M, No Incest, Other, POV Ben Hargreeves, Panic Attacks, updates will be sporadic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26883385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_sinner/pseuds/anonymous_sinner
Summary: "When he died, he somehow left behind strange symbols on the floor beneath his corpse. Investigators said the wood was scorched, when he died."OR the one where Ben finally gets screen time, and deals with "life" as a ghost. (and is forced to bring his druggie brother along for the journey.)
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz (mentioned)
Series: Drop Dead [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961392
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. When He Died

**Author's Note:**

> Hehe dead octopus boy go brrr
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR DEPICTIONS OF DEPRESSION, ABANDONMENT AND PANIC ATTACKS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

<https://youtu.be/hLRo06NCOAo>

The song for this chapter.

* * *

The first thing Ben noticed about death was how muted it was. Long gone were the days of feeling the fresh summer breeze, smelling flowers from the Academy greenhouse, the sweet taste of Grace’s pancakes or the vibrant colours of falling autumn leaves. The senses death did let him keep, however, became a jumbled mess compared to how they were when he was alive. 

Ben got to keep three of, what was supposed to be, seven senses. _Hearing, Sight, and Proprioception._ Proprioception is the sense of knowing where your limbs are, meaning you could know which position your hand was in even if your eyes were closed. It wasn’t really the most helpful sense, but it relaxed Ben that he could still keep control of his body. Sight was… a little disappointing.

As much as Ben hated being a sap, he used to love looking out of his bedroom window to see the cotton candy colours of the evening sky, but death took that pleasure away. Apparently, ghosts were, for the most part, colour blind. The only real _colour_ Ben ever gets to see now is the blurry blue outline that encompasses every ghost. Lastly, his hearing. Death made everything muffled, but hearing the most. He wasn’t deaf, no, no, he could hear, but not as well as he used to be able to. Though now, when any sound pierces Ben’s eardrum, it _echoes_ as if he were standing in an empty theatre. 

Hearing every sound bounce around in his brain like a ball made everything feel miles away, and yet too close for comfort. Ben could see other spirits, yes, and now understood why they screamed at Klaus. Being dead was… infuriating. Especially when you had to spend it following your junkie brother and watch him throw away the life you miss so dearly. But as much as Ben wanted to leave his brother, he simply couldn’t. Ben was basically spiritually bound to Klaus, as per God’s orders.

* * *

Ben did something he never thought he’d do again, wake up. Ben knew he was dead, that much was obvious. Looking around he could see no colour, other than the red blotches that stained his Academy Vest. He couldn’t see _people_ either, that is, until he saw a younger girl peddle up to him on a bike. “Benjamin Hargreeves,” The Girl sighed, “I knew I’d be seeing you soon.” Ben quirked his brow at that, he quite literally had no idea what was going on.

“Who are you exactly?” Ben asked. The Girl giggled in response, she had an aura of maturity and wisdom that looked _wrong_ for someone with her face. “I’m God. Not particularly any specific one, but God nonetheless. You’re in what the Christians would call ‘Heaven’. You were a good person Ben, you didn’t deserve what happened to you.” She remarked sadly. Ben nodded, not at her final remark, but at the information.

“So… what happens now?” Ben queried. He didn’t exactly see any place to go around him, just an open field with colourless wildflowers. “I send you back to Earth, not alive, but as a ghost.” The Girl spoke, fiddling with her bike basket.

“As what,” Ben asked, “Some kind of twisted guardian angel?” The idea sounded stupid to Ben. All he wanted to do now, that he wasn’t suffocating in Hargreeves’ grasp, was relax. “Well, yes. I don’t give the task to many, just those I trust. Your job will be to protect your brother: Klaus.” Ben snorted at that. “My brother has no self-preservation, he’s going to die young whether I’m there or not. Why do you need me to ‘protect’ him?” Ben questioned. Death was apparently full of questions that could only be solved with the vaguest of answers. 

The Girl (She was literally God, Ben should probably stop thinking of her as ‘The Girl’) smiled tightly at Ben’s question, “Well Ben, it’s quite simple. I hate him.” And with that God snapped her fingers and Ben was snapped back to Earth.

* * *

It was strange being at his own funeral. Seeing his body lowered into a grave in some cemetery he never even knew existed. And his father speaking a eulogy that was riddled with disappointment and degradation, “Number Six, one of the only competent ones of you five, is now dead. He was destined for great things with powers as strong of his, and yet he failed. Dropping down in the ranks like Number Four. Number Six was one of my favourites, and it was a shame to see him go in the way he did. Let this be a lesson to you all.” And, due to his new ghostly hearing, his father’s speech echoed around in Ben’s head, again and again until it faded away.

Ben was currently sitting on his own casket, knowing full well that Klaus could see him. Klaus was staring directly into the eyes of his brother, as if trying to figure out if he was really a ghost or not. Which was understandable. After Ben had left Heaven, his Academy clothes were gone, and he was now wearing a black hoodie, jeans and sneakers: his go to outfit on the days he didn’t have to wear his uniform. It was strange, that Ben got to change clothes and be rid of blood when the other spirits looked like how they did when they died. But he supposed it was different since God herself literally sent Ben to protect Klaus.

Ben decided it would probably be good to talk to Klaus when they got home, and he wasn’t as raw from the funeral service. So he waited, the ride back home in the car was difficult, especially with all his siblings wedged together. It was nice to see, however, that they left Ben’s spot by the window open. So that's where he sat, looking at the blurs of black, white and grey through the tinted windows. Klaus kept his eyes on Ben the whole time, and Ben was determined to not cave in and look back. He was going to wait, and that was final.

And soon enough, they were home. Reginald sent the rest of Ben’s siblings to their respective rooms and Ben followed closely behind Klaus. On the way to his brother's room, he could see Grace closing Ben’s door. Before she could completely shut it, he could see that all of his belongings were gone, and not even his bed remained. It was sad, yes, but he supposed it would be better turned into storage rather than a sad memory. 

Once they finally got to Klaus’ room, he all but slammed the door before speaking. “You’re not real, are you? I’ve finally cracked. I think you’re the first hallucination I’ve had without being high, and to be honest? The drug ones are better.” Klaus hissed, stray tears flowing down his cheeks. Ben didn’t know what to say, yeah, it hurt being called a hallucination, but Klaus was going through his brother’s death. “I’m not a hallucination, Klaus. And to be honest? You’re a bitch to think so.” Ben huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Klaus barked out a laugh, he was obviously not convinced. “Really? Then why aren’t you covered in blood like all the rest, huh? Why aren’t you screaming at me?” Klaus was full on sobbing now, and Ben had no idea how to help. “How can I convince you that I’m real, huh?” Ben asked.

“I don’t know. Uh… how about… Oo I know! _I’m_ pretty stupid, but Ben wasn’t. Say a fact I would know or something.” Klaus said smugly, his voice wobbly from crying. Ben sighed, he was going to have to think of something Klaus would surely have never heard before. “Sonic the Hedgehog’s real name is Olgivie Maurice Hedgehog.” Ben said, knowing full well Klaus was never into video game characters. Klaus squinted slightly, before leaving the room. Ben had no idea where Klaus was going, but Ben assumed it was to go and check whatever fact Ben had just spouted. The children were never allowed to have video game consoles themselves, but Ben may or may not have swiped a few comics from a store they were saving from robbers during a mission years ago. Ben never really remembered what the comics were about, but Sonic’s name was just one of those random memories that had stuck with him for his whole life.

Before Ben could even think about going to find Klaus, the teen in question ran back into the room, the door swinging behind him. “I just went to ask Diego what Sonic’s name was, and he gave the same answer. It’s really you, huh Ben?” Klaus smiled, out of breath. Ben smiled, it was good Klaus went to Diego, he was the only person who enjoyed comics. “Yeah you dummy, of course it’s me.” Ben laughed.

“But really, why aren’t you like… covered in blood?” Klaus asked, curiosity filling his eyes. Ben wasn’t exactly sure it would be the best idea to tell Klaus that God sent him here to protect his junkie ass from dying since she hated him so much, so he settled on a shrug instead. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I'm at peace with dying or something?” Klaus looked at Ben curiously again. “Well _are_ you at peace with dying?” Klaus asked. Ben nodded,

“Yeah. If it means I don’t have to summon The Horrors anymore, then I’m happy. Or… as happy as a dead person can be.”

Klaus nodded empathetically. “Can you um… see them? The other ghosts I mean.” Klaus asked, looking at the other ghost in the room. It was a woman, her neck lolling to the side, looking wrong in all sorts of ways. She definitely had a broken neck, but she was being quiet, just staring out the window. Ben nodded, “Yeah, I can see them too. I get why you’re so afraid of them now…” Ben trailed off, thinking back to a particularly bloody ghost at the cemetery. Klaus sighed loudly, before practically waltzing over to his window. Ben raised his brow for the umpteenth time that day, “Klaus, what’re you doing?” Ben already knew the answer, he was going out for drugs. 

“Benny, you already know what I’m doing.’ Klaus spoke, giving Ben the side eyes. And as Klaus went out onto the fire escape, Ben just followed behind. “You’re not going anywhere without me Klaus. I don’t care where the hell it is, you’re stuck with me now.” Ben glowered, placing his hands on his hips. Klaus sighed, “You’re gonna be just like the rest, aren’t you?” Ben scoffed, “I’m not going to scream in your face if that’s what you’re saying. But yes, I’m going to follow you around like a dog because I don’t trust you enough to not end up dead in a ditch.”

And with that, and another sigh from Klaus, they were on the streets of The City. Ben himself had never seen an official drug deal go down, and didn’t expect to ever see one. But here he was, watching Klaus nod to a dingy looking man in the alleyway of some convenience store. “Klaus, how have you been kid?” The man asked, looking at Klaus with the eyes of a man who couldn’t be trusted. Klaus just smiled a little too tightly for it to be natural, “I’ve been good Dan, I’ve been good. You got what I need?” The man, Dan, nodded. 

“I got you something even better, you buy these and you get the ‘usual’ free” He said, pulling out two syringes and a baggie from his pocket. Klaus’ eyes widened and so did Ben’s. So far Klaus’ drug habit had only consisted of weed, prescription pills and some of Reginald’s liquor. Nothing too hard, but horrible for you nonetheless. But not once had Ben ever seen Klaus do Heroin, and apparently Klaus hadn’t either.

But that wasn’t going to stop Klaus, Ben realized the pit in his stomach only dropping deeper. Klaus took the needles and bag with a tentative hand, before handing a thick wad of cash to the man. Dan flashed a mouth full of missing and too-yellow teeth at Klaus before walking out of the alleyway, presumably to make his next deal. “Klaus.” Ben warned. Klaus scoffed at his brother, “Even when you’re dead you’re trying to control me, huh Benny Boy?” Klaus knew very well that the nickname ticked Ben off. “I’m not trying to control you Klaus, even you know that. You know very well that this is a stupid idea.” Ben spoke, glaring at Klaus. He just tightened his grip on the two needles, knuckles whitening slightly. Ben reached out to take the needles from Klaus, only to have his hand go through Klaus’ hand.

Ben sucked in a, what was supposed to be, breath, stepping back from Klaus. Of course he couldn’t touch Klaus, he was a ghost. Ghosts can’t touch people, only objects. Ben couldn’t feel his back hit the brick wall of the alley, but he knew it did when he couldn’t take any steps back. He couldn’t stop Klaus from taking the drugs, _because of course he couldn’t_. God sent Ben down here to protect Klaus, and he couldn’t even do that. **_It was his first day of being a ghost and his brother was shooting up Heroin in an alley._** Ben could hear as he tried to get air into his lungs that no longer worked. He could hear as Klaus gasp as he finished shooting up the contents of the syringe. And it all echo, echo, _echoed away_ _as Ben was shot miles away from the only person who could see him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That song makes me feel like I'm stuck in the Twilight Zone


	2. So Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favourite hentai monster doesn't have a good time

<https://youtu.be/QKstfgGFKqE>

This is the song for this chapter :')

* * *

“Fuck!” Ben cried, punching the wall in front of him. If he were alive, he would’ve broken his hand.  _ ‘If I were alive… psh’  _ Ben thought, wiping the tears from his face. Apparently, while ghosts couldn’t touch other people, they could still cry. God had really outdone herself this time, hadn’t she? Ben shook his head, trying to get rid of the angry thoughts. Right now, he had to find a way to get back to Klaus. His brother was the reason Ben had his ‘eternal rest’ taken away, so he might as well enjoy it while he was stuck here. As far as Ben remembers, Klaus had made the deal in the alley behind ‘Kevin’s Convenience’. Ben was now outside of a McDonald’s, the only one in The City to be exact.

Thanks to having the window seat in the car for his whole life, Ben was fairly acquainted with the layout of The City. And he also knew that he had been shot about seven miles away from his brother, and it would take him a little less than two hours to walk those seven miles, if he didn’t get lost that is. Ben groaned in annoyance, because of course this was going to happen on his first night. Ben walked out from his spot against the wall of the restaurant, and started jogging down the street. One good thing about being dead was not getting tired, so Ben could keep the same pace the whole time.

He jogged down one street, took a right, jogged down another street, kept going to the next street… and so on. Ben looked at the other ghosts while he jogged, noticing most of them wandering randomly, a distant look in their eyes. How long had they been stuck here? Were they also sent to protect someone they love? But most of all, if Ben stayed here long enough, would he become like them? Ben shook his head again, he wouldn’t become like them, he had Klaus.  _ ‘The Klaus who, instead of comforting his dead brother, decided to try Heroin. Yeah, what a great companion.’  _ Ben’s mind supplied, which caused Ben to scoff at himself. Klaus was his brother, and he was trying his best. It had to be hard to see your own dead brother right after he died, right? It had only been three days since he died, of course it was going to be a raw subject. The most important thing right now was finding his brother, and making sure he wasn’t passed out in a shady alley.

* * *

Ben had been correct when he estimated it would take around two hours to find Klaus. And when he did, he could see his brother in the exact spot he had been when Ben was zapped away. As far as Ben could see, there weren’t any ghosts in the alley with him, let alone people. It had been two hours since Ben last saw Klaus, and from the books Pogo had given Ben on drug/substance abuse, Heroin highs only lasted around four hours; this was the halfway mark. “Hey Klaus, how's the Heroin?” Ben stung, leaning against the wall in front of his brother. Klaus looked up, shaking slightly. The look in his eyes was strange, Ben had never seen anyone with such small pupils before. “Oh heeeey Ben, what’s up?” Klaus said, dragging the ‘e’ out and smiling slightly. Ben rolled his eyes, “Oh you know, trying to find your junkie ass before you did anything stupid.” Klaus giggled,

“Me? Stupid? Nah.”

“Klaus you literally just tried Heroin for the first time at age fifteen, I’m pretty sure that’s what someone would classify as ‘stupid’.” 

“But it feels so good Ben, better than whatever weed I was smoking before…” Klaus sighed. Ben stopped before he could make another snarky reply. Of course Heroin wasn’t going to be a one off thing, it never was with Klaus. “I’m sleepy Ben, will you watch over me to make sure no scary men use me like a toy?” Klaus asked, giggling at his own, frankly morbid, joke. Ben sighed, “Sure Klaus, go to sleep.”

“My guardian angel….” Klaus trailed, and before Ben knew it, Klaus was asleep.

* * *

Ben’s chest was tight for the second time that day. The Horrors wouldn’t stop whispering to Ben. In that language that wasn’t english, and made Ben feel sick to his stomach. They were yelling,  _ screaming  _ at Ben for everything he did wrong. Even in death Ben was a mistake, something that should’ve never been born. Ben had always felt that it would’ve been better if whoever his mom was hadn’t become one of the forty-odd women who spontaneously gave birth. He had never been like his other siblings. He hadn’t loved his powers, or had fun using them, no Ben hated his powers. He hated the four, individual, voices that berated him during missions. And he hated the four voices of his  _ siblings  _ that berated Ben during missions for not using his powers. Nothing had ever been his choice, not being born, not having powers, not hearing voices and not even dying.

**_‘You always blame us, Benjamin, and forget that we are just as stuck in your body as you are.’_ ** The four Horrors hissed, echoing in Ben’s head like the eulogy his father spoke. Ben shook his head, gripping at his hair. Trying desperately to feel something, anything, other than the swirling emotions and weight in his stomach. But he couldn’t. Of course he couldn't feel anything, he was  _ dead _ . And Ben couldn’t even have his rest, no, he was stuck following his dumb brother who keeps doing dumb drugs. All his life, Ben had been walking the wide sidewalk of control, and yet he still fell into the street of death. But Klaus? He was walking a tightrope, a fine line between safety and plummeting hundreds of feet to death, but Klaus had always been good at balancing. Ben sobbed, his chest tightening indefinitely. The Horrors like boa constrictors in his abdomen, tightening, and tightening until Ben would be split in half.

“I never chose for you to be stuck here. I never choose to have you take me down and whisper in my ear like some sick conscience. So I’m sorry that you’re stuck with me, and I’m sorry that  _ you  _ got  _ me  _ killed.” Ben yelled, shivers wracking his body.

  
Ben was shaking like a washing machine, and he still couldn’t seem to be able to breathe. And it all came back to the same thought, circling around like a whirl-n-twirl.  _ Why would he need to breathe? He was  _ **_dead_ ** _ , _ **_dead_ ** _ and there was nothing left.  _ **_Dead_ ** _ and he was stuck with the very thing that  _ **_killed him_ ** _.  _ **_Dead_ ** _ and his family was  _ **_ripping in half_ ** _ and the only thing his brother could think of doing was getting drugged up.  _ **_He was dead, dead, dead_ ** _. And the thought, just like everything else, echoed until it  _ **_faded away_ ** _.  _ Nobody heard any sound from the alley that night. But Ben knew the walls were echoing with the sounds of his cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to canon boys

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on wattpad @Green_Potato22 for more shitty updates
> 
> also, all of these chapters are titled after a song! make the request and I'll give out the playlist.


End file.
